The journalFor parents

What play therapy actually looks like

It looks like playing. That's the point — and it's also the part that's easy to misread. Here's what's happening in the room.

The short version

  • Play is how children talk. Asking a seven-year-old to sit still and describe their feelings asks for a skill they don't have yet.
  • What looks like a sandbox and some figures is the work — the story they can't tell gets played out instead.
  • You are not on the outside of this. You'll hear what's changing and what to do at home, without me handing over their private material.
On this page

Parents peer through the idea of play therapy and hit the same snag: you're going to help my child by… playing with them? It sounds too soft to be treatment. Where's the part that fixes things?

Here's the reframe. For a young child, play isn't a break from the real work. Play is the work — it's how they think, sort out what's happened to them, and try on feelings that are too big to say. When we play, we're not passing time until the therapy starts. We're already in it.

Play is how children talk

A child tells you everything — just not in sentences. Ask a five-year-old how they feel about the new baby and you'll get a shrug. Watch them in the playroom and you might see the baby doll get shut in a drawer, then rescued, then shut in again. That's not random. That's a child working out jealousy, guilt, and love with the only vocabulary they've got.

My job is to give them the materials, the safety, and the attention to say what they can't say out loud — and to actually understand what they're telling me. Sand, figures, art, pretend, the same story played on a loop with tiny changes each time. It looks like playing because it is. It's also how the hard stuff gets processed and metabolized, at their pace, in their language.

What a session is actually like

Nothing dramatic, on the surface. A child comes into a room set up to be safely theirs, and they lead. Some days that's building and knocking down. Some days it's a long, involved story with the figures. Some days it's quiet and careful; some days it's loud.

I'm not sitting back watching. I'm following closely, reflecting what I see, sometimes gently nudging a theme, mostly making it safe enough for the real material to surface. Over weeks, patterns emerge — the same worry played out different ways, a scary thing that slowly gets a happier ending. That arc is the therapy happening.

The part parents worry about

Will you tell me what happens in the room?

Yes — you'll never be left guessing. This is the balance at the center of the work. I keep the playroom a place your child feels is safely theirs, because that privacy is what lets them be honest in it. And I keep you in the loop with plain, regular check-ins about how they're doing and what's helping. You won't get a transcript of their play, but you'll always understand the shape of it and what to do at home.

You're not on the outside of this

Play therapy isn't something I do to your child while you wait in the lobby. You're part of it. Your own sessions with me teach you ways to support what's happening — the same language, the same steadiness — and when it helps, you'll come into the playroom too.

If your child is carrying something they can't put into words — big feelings after a big change, worries that show up at bedtime, meltdowns that don't feel like a phase — this is what play therapy for children is built for. We start with a free parent call, just you, to talk through whether it's the right fit.

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Sarah Mohanavilasam, LCSW

Written by

Sarah Mohanavilasam, LCSW

Sarah is a licensed clinical social worker in Salt Lake City. She works with adults, teens, children, and families through trauma, anxiety, and the things that have grown too heavy to carry alone — using EMDR, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, and play therapy.

More about Sarah →

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